Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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