so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
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Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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