I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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