Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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