Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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