Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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