Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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