this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
