the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
