Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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