Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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