you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
