No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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