So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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