You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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