I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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