Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize