Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
