You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
