dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
