Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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