3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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