You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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