Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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