I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
