I wannas sexs uuuuu
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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