Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize