i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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