Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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