I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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