I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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