I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
