We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
