put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
