And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
