and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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