I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
