that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize