I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize