His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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