I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
