I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
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Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
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Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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