I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize