And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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