I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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