I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
