i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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