I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize