I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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