My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
