I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
