just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she pinky promised me she was 18
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
