Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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