I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
