O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize