Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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