he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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