Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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