I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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