Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?

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  (703): If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count? http://tfl.nu/wecp
  Replies (24) Good night (716) Bad night (3059)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out

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  (440): planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out http://tfl.nu/zgao
  Replies (22) Good night (1637) Bad night (3517)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish his dick was as long as his hair.

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  (617): I wish his dick was as long as his hair. http://tfl.nu/x3k7
  Replies (13) Good night (1074) Bad night (6808)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.

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  (701): I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships. http://tfl.nu/filq
  Replies (12) Good night (3858) Bad night (1174)
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  (646): View more from New York

  She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."

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  (646): She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers." http://tfl.nu/lbn1
  Replies (5) Good night (2663) Bad night (881)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.

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  (989): I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made. http://tfl.nu/gowl
  Replies (6) Good night (3726) Bad night (901)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.

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  (502): She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't. http://tfl.nu/5w3y
  Replies (8) Good night (875) Bad night (2445)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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  (609): I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything http://tfl.nu/1m1m
  Replies (11) Good night (2065) Bad night (594)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila

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  (816): Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila http://tfl.nu/brdu
  Replies (4) Good night (1752) Bad night (627)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?

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  (313): I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/g93i
  Replies (7) Good night (1607) Bad night (559)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.

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  (252): I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard. http://tfl.nu/2lw3
  Replies (17) Good night (4163) Bad night (814)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.

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  (520): Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday. http://tfl.nu/j22e
  Replies (7) Good night (941) Bad night (592)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball

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  (732): That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball http://tfl.nu/r3bp
  Replies (7) Good night (634) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team

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  (813): You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team http://tfl.nu/nq8a
  Replies (6) Good night (768) Bad night (309)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING

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  (541): Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner? (541): CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING http://tfl.nu/5lve
  Replies (5) Good night (796) Bad night (291)

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