he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dating After Heartbreak
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper