she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!