I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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