i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.