So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize