hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have aggressive nipples.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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