No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
