If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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