Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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